How to Beat the Heat...LITERALLY!

Posted by Administrator on 7/10/2012 to Products
I don't know about the part of the world you're in, but here in Edmonton, it's been brain-meltingly super hot. At least +28 every day for the past week with a humidex of 19741093 degrees. It's hotter than hell with no end in sight.

So, with the weather in mind, we've come up with a few fun ways to beat the heat...literally. 
  • It's too hot to share body heat. Slouching into the couch, naked, with an oscillating fan pointed in your direction is a perfectly acceptable way of being together naked. Now is the time to fill up every container in your house with water and stuff them into the freezer, then taking turns melting ice over your body and filling up the containers again. (Good planning bonus points: Using those frozen snowballs from 1997. Extra bonus points: making jokes about a snowball's chance in hell)
  • Internal use ice cubes is encouraged. Just be smart enough to stuff them into a condom first. Alternatively, this video on YouTube shows you how to make your own ice dildos at home to play with.
  • If you are brave enough to play in this weather, remember to stay hydrated and take frequent breaks. With weather this hot, fainting spells can be a lot more likely and circulation is moving a lot faster than usual, so someones' pain tolerance may be lowered extremely. 
  • We don't suggest wearing latex in UV light to begin with, but wearing full latex in this kind of heat can be suicidal. With an already warm and swollen body from the heat, it can be easy to overheat in all black latex head-to-toe. Avoid vac beds. If wearing latex in some way or another during this heat is your thing, try underpants.
  • SUNSCREEN at least SPF 50 if you're outdoors. I can't stress this enough. If the heat wave suddenly breaks, you'll still be left with a painful reminder of the sun. 
  • Wear as little clothing as is legally allowable in your municipality. It helps and I'm sure the rest of the overheated zombies of the world won't mind. 
  • Did you know that paddles work perfectly as little personal fans? Floggers also help move the air around a bit. Protip: Two floggers are better than one. 
  • Roll up a bunch of ice cubes in a towel. Knot at both ends. Drape over the bottoms' shoulders and watch them squirm as it melts. 
That's all the tips for today, because it's getting too hot in the office to think. More suggestions? Put them in the comments below!

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